Look, I know you’ve got some mixed feelings about us and our relationship right now, but before you end it, you’ve gotta hear me out. I know deep down you really don’t want to let me go. I know you really wanna know why I thought it was a good idea to go through your phone book and call each and every single girl in it. I wanted to see if they had or still have any kind of a romantic relationship with you that could turn into something intimate. You have to realize that I only did it because of my passion and love for you. The love that is so strong in my heart that it compels me to do things like this phone book incident and the showing up at your house in the middle of the night incident and the calling you thirty times a day and the hanging around your job until you got off work. I do all this because I love you so much. I act out in wonder, curiosity and rage when you don’t tell me the whole truth when I ask for specifics about the women in your life. There’s Marie, for instance, who I’ve talked to over and over again. She keeps insisting that you guys are just friends, but I know she’s lying because I can hear it in her voice. When she’s talking to me, I get this feeling like there’s something going on with the two of you, maybe before or even now. I also get this feeling that she wants to be romantically involved with you or wants to be your woman. That would make her a filthy slut because she knows that I’m your girl.
I can’t imagine why someone would want someone that’s already taken. How could you even consider having sex with her. If you are, then just let me know because I don’t want to get in the way of your pleasure. It’s obvious that if you’d rather have sex with other people, then you aren’t satisfied with me, but how could you not be? You seem to like it a lot unless you’ve been faking it this whole time. Then...ohmygawd, are you breaking up with me because I’m bad in bed?
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